Cedric, I need help. I’ve been married for almost two years and I want out. My husband is a mama’s boy and a coward. His mother dislikes me and mistreats my children from a previous relationship. When I encourage him to talk to her he gets mad because he thinks I want him to be disrespectful or something. I just want him to tell her that, as his mother, she should at least respect his feelings and the decisions that he has made and not be rude to me and my daughters. He also has a bad habit of making decisions without me. For instance, he purchased our home after we both agreed that we should get an apartment and save and work on our marriage. My name is not on the contract and, guess what he said about that: They messed up the paperwork.” My question, in response to that, still hasn’t been answered: “Well, why the hell did you sign it?” After a year he still hasn’t answered. I feel bad because it’s like I’m in a marriage where I have no voice and no opinion. He’s running me over but he keeps saying he loves me and is doing it for us but something just doesn’t feel right.
Something is not right, marriage was intended for two and not three! I have a funny feeling that mama had to something to do with your name not being on the mortgage. Sounds like his mother has done a number on him and put him at a disadvantage. Unfortunately, some parents don’t know how to let go of their children and create these individuals who are incapable of being in a healthy relationship. It’s impossible for a man to take his proper role in the marriage, if his mother is controlling him. You may as well be married to her.
This marriage will self-destruct, if something isn’t done soon. He doesn’t need to talk to his mother, more than he needs to understand how you feel. I suggest you express yourself to him, tell him how you feel. First, pray for clarity and peace, you want to approach him from a loving place. You don’t want him to feel attacked. This will not be an easy conversation for him. However, a must for your sanity. When you speak, be clear and prise, be for certain. Be willing to listen, this where that for better or worse thing kicks in. A mediator may even be necessary to guide your conversation.
If he is not willing to solve this problem, then I got a number you can call. I never like to suggest the “d” word to people, but I’m all about living your best life. You have to be an example for your daughters or they will repeat the same mistakes you have. God has already given you the power you need to change this. I wish you the best!
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